Things come to an end. They always do. Tonight’s performance of Love’s Labors Lost is the ending point for this Black Hills experience, and my heart is so full. There are so many moments I want to hold onto, moments like:
Our trek across the midwest
Making and eating meals together, with the wonderful deer as our dinner guests
Playing volleyball (for the second time in my life)
Hiking mountains and sharing God's creation with my friends
Learning how to be open and vulnerable through clown work
Swimming together after long rehearsals
The many houred afternoon dance party
Feet to the Fires
The loopy late night van caravan back
Putting on shows together in Wheaton
I want so desperately to tightly hold onto these moments, keep them close. I want my new friends to stay in my life. How can I preserve this time we’ve spent together in community, keeping it exactly the way it is? My fear is that distance and time will eventually erase the magic of these moments we've created together. That's why I need to keep all of this the same, tightly held in my heart.
And yet, I'm slowly coming to realize that I can't do this. I can't control the things I hold dear. The more I cling, the more I limit the full experience of this summer. I can't appreciate something that I’m trying to confine, even if it is because I truly cherish it. Having open hands, not clenched fists, means that yes, these people will go back to their lives. But for a beautiful, unexpected time, these special people were a part of my life.
All I really need to do is just be thankful for this Black Hills experience.
And maybe, just maybe, there’ll come a time when they come back into my open hands and heart.
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